Deep & meaningless

Again, im back blogging.but this time i don't know how long can this last again.heh (: I haven't been having a good sleep these few days. Everynight is a heartbreaking night, the only way to get to sleep is shed my tears to bed.Now i realised everything is over.The lies i have been trying to see inbetween is so obvious now,am i really such a worthless gf to you? From the start till now i wont denied that my love for you is truth,but what i know is yours isn't truth for me.All along i have to find ways to deceive myself that what is happening is not truth, we will last. I will change for you, but i have my bads, im not a perfect person, you can ask much but what i can give is within my control. cliques & sisters are always my best listener, i know you guys will be there for me.Im really glad to have Cindy & Jessica back in my life, they have gone through what im having now, but they are so much stronger then me i guess.Other then to cry anytime anywhere, i really dont know how to express myself. Is so unglam to tears outside, but i have no choice, the pain is unbearable. I didnt know i could be hurt like this. Im no longer the strong one which i use to be. I admit i have fun & flirt around when im young, but now when i think is time to devote to one, things turn out to be the different ways.. well whatever, everything seems to be so meaningless now. Deep inside my heart i still have a place for you.Sorry for not being your idea girlfriend,now no matter how many heartbreaking replies from you i will accept and move on. I dont want to ask for much, as long you feel happier without my existence i will try not to linger within your side. Thanks for those 3 months memories. I still miss your uber cute double eyelid. I miss you alot. Now i left with nothing but the question why.

I really love you so hard,why must you fool me so bad.