Goodbye

Can someone tell me why & what i've done wrong? What i know is everyone is leaving me. fuck. yesterday my Dad ask me down for a talk, he said that im no longer the girl whom will share her things and spent time with her family.He asked me alot of questions, why must i restrict myself being close to the family, like why must i always lock myself up in a small tiny room when i know my mum is downstairs waiting for my company.Im so sorry, i just couldn't bring myself up to her to share my feelings and what is really happening to me. Nobody can really understand the pain im having every single sec that really is killing me suicide. Now the pain is not about the leaving of Deon anymore,is all the fact which i have been hiding all along.Daddy told me 3 more week to my upcoming 18. Is time for me to think and have some spare thoughts for those whom really concern about me. I was indeed shock, he did remembered my birthday.He told me to choose the path which i want to lead, he will give me all the freedom, maybe after spoken all the words he wanted to say. He might never wanna to talk to me anymore.I couldn't control anymore, tears just flow within my control. Like i told myself, i will never want to cry for anyone again.But this time im crying for myself.I wasted to much time in useless things. Like in a relationship, when i really want to settle down & devote to one, but when i know he wont be mine forever, i will rather change everything of myself in order to keep him by my side.As long his happy i don't mind. But from what i can see now, he don't borthered & i guess he had move on with his life. Question back to myself, crying wont make him come back, but why am i still crying? Is it because i did not get what i want from him. cliques told me is useless & worthless. well guess i have to to move on.Goodbye to all those sillyness which dwell in me. Buddy told me (pengxiang) '' what is not yours will never be yours.soon or later you will get use to it,is a matter of time''.Well thanks to those whom really care for me. Iloveyou! Cindy i promise you i will move on as time goes by.To keep myself occupied, i need a job, i need my friends. & i need love & care. (: geee.