For my-bszy

The first time i met you was at the car, you were the driver which drove us to town and had our movie. we didnt had any eye contact,neither any conversation.

The second time was at bukitbatok, i was having gastric & so much in pain, i saw you ride past with your friend.

The third time was at bukitgombak 371 i was having my supper. you was with tao hin, his bike couldnt start, and this gave me a chance to take a look at you clearly.After that you ride off, i was walking home,& that particular turn, the very first time you said goodbye to me, and a sms came to offers to send me home.

slowly as times goes by, we sms, we had fun, & we met up.

Remember you came over with wenjun to accompany me down to yuan's buddy 18th birthday,sissy roston was with us. we head our way to meet jessica for a puff, and off to changi.

On the way, there is this guy whom trying to find trouble with you,at that moment i was afraid, what you told me is ''hold on to me tight''. And you speed all the way to shoo him off. At that point of time i felt so released the fear is gone,holding onto you, is like i wanted to captured that moment, this is like so forever.

Remember i ask you to the beach, because i want to spend some private time with you, i wanted to know more about you. But my first impression of you, you dont speak much,& the urged to know more about you.

We sat on the bench, airoplanes above us, the sea, the stars and that unique you.Not more then a sentence of conversation,all i heard was your heartbeat. our very first hug.

The next day you text me ,asking me to be your girl. im so confused, is this a infactuation or im really in love.

I accept, but i regert. im so rush in giving you an answer that i never really think about it.

We broke, i told you i need time, you got sad. and im guilty.Im afraid you wont contact me anymore.

You still keep me in contact and ramdomly ask me to be your girl. but at that point i couldn't gave you all my heart,my only love and my faithfulness.

To be truth, i couldn't gave up the one which i used to own,used to love and used to give up. anything, including pride i dont mind.

But as times goes by, you slowly change my mindset, you gave me a feeling which i never felt before, the love the care the ultimate concern which no ones ever gave me before, im so happy, and im so glad to have you in my life. But there is still this unfaithful in me which i cant forget my past. Im still hoping a better.

My dear Benjamin,his so nice, he gave me surprise he gave me love which no one ever gave me before. Im such a lucky girl.

He make to the point to send me to sch every morning after his midnight shift. His uber tired but because he love me, for me anything his willing.

He told me im the first girl he ever gave in.

He told me he will treat me good(:

I believed. He bring me to places which i always wanted.Like LCK, which i mention, is love.But deep down inside my heart, there is still something that lingers, but i choose to kept it there,still hoping for a betterIm so selfish. *******************************************************************************

05.11.08-

The date we are officially together.Everything was still so perfect

We had so much fun

The very first time i went to your house.Im so afraid, i dont know why. partly i was the first girl you brought home

But remember when im so afraid to face your parents, we sat below your block waitingyour dad to be asleep.hoping the light will be off asap

Like finally,out of surprise i saw your mum,and she was really friendly.

Now i met almost everyone in your family

They are so nice

Everything still goes well

But the only thing,it was my fault it lies on me

Now what we are, we are far from, we know it ourselfI dont wish to mention those ugly pain moments

Im hoping for a better,a change , a new start , a new us.
hereby,will you be my last& forever, will your accept me for who am igiving me the respect all i ever wanted? & the freedom shouldn't be control fromthe start.The trust which u lost in me, i want it back & i promised. Not to mention the past anymore, as this need to let go,inorder for us to move onif only you willing too

Hence this is the only way to stop this never-ending pain.


will

you?

will you?

can you really?

All i ever wanted was to see you smiling all i ever wanted was the happy you and me
I admit all my wrongdoings,i seek for a chance,this is last i ever wanted
No more never-ending pain, i want you, the very first you
promised me, we will be more than happy
will you?

If i had to choose between loving you & breathingI will choose breathing

I would use my last breath to say I love you.